I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
