Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
