Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
