im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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