you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
