I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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