ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
