I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
