why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
