That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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