I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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