how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
