I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize