that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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