i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Randomize
