we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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