Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
