I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
