dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
