He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
