She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize