never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
