How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize