How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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