well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
