PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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