I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize