What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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