You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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