You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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