i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
