dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize