Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you mean i was at the winter classic?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
