I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
