I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
