im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
