every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
