I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
