i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How external is "for external use only"?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
