Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize