i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
