You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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