I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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