Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
