i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
