two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
