I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
