I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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