Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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