Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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