watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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