'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
