Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
