Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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