can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
