haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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