If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
