i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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