Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
