No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he puts the penis in happiness.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
