"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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